It's been said many ways, many times before...

but once again, Merry Christmas! I pray that God will shower you and yours with many a blessing and peace, joy, and love. Remember the reason for this season! Jesus Christ was born to save us all, don't forget. Happy Birthday to our dear Savior. I can't imagine where my life would be without Him.

So, my first semester of college is over, and I need to do some major reflections. Some I'll do here, others are only fit for my personal journal. First, I'd like to thank the people who love me, support me, and pray for me. I cannot even begin to express how grateful and loved I feel because of you guys. Thank you so much.

I am especially thankful for my church family. You guys make me feel so special and you shower me with love every time I am home to visit. Thank you! And ps. your hugs are superb. I missed those so much.

It's been so good to be home - the familiarities of home. It's not so much the house I live in, but the people I live with that make a home, a home. You know that amazing feeling of "oh my goodness, my prayers were answered" - yeah. God answered my prayers. Even though my parents have been distant for a very long time, I've been praying that they find love again. I prayed that their initial love and adoration for each other would return. Being home for the holidays, I see traces of that, and I am exuberant! Praise God! And, sitting with my brothers during the candlelight service, I was overwhelmed with my love for them. It's moments like those that make me feel honored to be their sister.

I'm also very thankful for my friends at Yale. Without their friendship, I don't know if I could've survived first semester. Thank you for keeping me accountable, and for your God-given company. A special shout out to my YSC girls - that meeting was amazing! And, my floor-mates - you guys make dorming fun and memorable! To the guys on the fifth and third floor - thanks for your help and fun company :) especially Hassan, I would not have passed Arabic without your guidance! And, to Josh especially too, for listening to my troubles and being a true friend.

Of course, my friends in California... I miss being at home where you guys all are, but being away makes me appreciate our friendships so much more. You guys truly are gifts from above.

To my sister, Teresa, simply put, I love you.

Academically, I could've done better. Grades are not posted yet, but I know they are not that great. So, I'm going to allow myself some slack this first semester. It's all uphill from here. Like Travis (who is SUPER cute) said in the Hannah Montana movie, "life's a climb, but the view is great." I'm determined to do better next semester. I think I know which classes I'm going to take next semester...

Arabic because I love it and want to go to Amman, Jordan this summer for a higher level course. And, my professor is amazing!
Chemistry because it's a year-long course and it's a pre-med requirement.
Math because I really need to get back to doing some 'rithmetic! and it's a prerequisite for Physics.
Psych because I might want to major in it, and because I want to take it with Marvin Chun, who I hear, is a wonderful lecturer.
Lab because I need a year of chem lab for pre-med and because Dr. G is so unique :)
and, a course at the Divinity School if they actually let me in. It's called Feminist, Womanist, Gendered Theologies. :) Fascinating huh? The description says the class will consist of a lot of reading in regards to the woman of the Bible and their walks with God and how they play major roles in the Bible. I'm super interested in that, considering how I got myself a Women's Study Bible for Christmas. I'm serious about this desire to live for God, and to put Him before my worldly emotions. It's been a struggle, and it will continue to be one as long as boys are in my life, but with the right mindset, I'll be okay :)

So that's a total of 5 credits, not counting the Div School course. That's one more credit than last semester. And that's not factoring in the time I spend in sections for those courses. I probably won't work this semester because I really need to focus on studying - and sleeping a decent amount too. I also want to start volunteering/shadowing at the hospital and see if I like it and see if my desire to pursue a medical career is legit.

Personally, I've grown a lot emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Physically because I've grown accustomed to all the walking I have to do to get around Yale. Emotionally because many trying situations arose, and by God's good grace, I was able to handle them and come out a stronger person. I realize that I depend on God much more because I don't have the support system I have at home. I guess moving away does have it's perks :) Spiritually - realizing that He is jealous for me, jealous for my time and my loyalty and my thoughts. Wrestling with guilt and shame is not fun. And, I can finally say, I'm ready to give it to Him. Good grief, I know that things will come up immediately that will seek to terminate this goal, but I know that with continual prayer and persistence, God will see me through. Like Allie said, He's not going to bring me to it if He can't bring me through it.

So, it's been a good first semester. A learning experience. And truth be told, I never want to be a first-semester freshman again :)

Cheers! This is my last post of 2009! I can't believe it's already almost 2010! This year has been a big one for me... Korea, graduating high school (that seemed so long ago!), an amazing summer and birthday, matriculating at Yale, Cultural Connections, college... whew! :)

Well, here's to Christmas and 2009. Thanks for reading!

Lovelovelove,
Christina

Closure

You know that feeling when something is nicely and neatly and intangibly put away? It's like a chapter in your book of memories, stored with emotions and good times, but you know that it's best to not relive it and to treasure it as just that - memories. It's a nice feeling. I'm learning to control my emotions, and I'm finding that only Jesus alone can break my fall and mend my heart. He's after my heart and to Him, I give all my attention and adoration.

I've been feeling a lot of peace - alhamduliallah. And God really has humbled me and showed me how wonderful it is to put Him first, to appreciate life, and the importance of questioning.

Someday we'll know why - why Samson loved Delilah and whether or not the captain of the Titanic cried...

Well I have a huge Chem test tomorrow but before I head into hardcore studying, I did a quiet time. It calms me down and offers me wisdom.

And this, my friends, is why I study:
Philippians 1:9-11
"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God."

Yes, Lord. Thank you for another beautiful day in New Haven. I loved the warm sunshine and brisk air combination. That and company of great friends has made my day a day to be thankful for.

<3 love.

December?!

exactly. wow.

Gives Me Hope

Today, I experienced my own "Gives Me Hope" line. Check it out. It's so, so, SO much better than FML. givesmehope.com

Here's mine:
Today at work I talked with Dennis, an EMT student, and he shared with me why he is choosing to complete this course. His grandfather had passed away and that was his inspiration to save lives. He is foregoing college to work two jobs, attend this demanding class, to keep his life together financially and emotionally - for his mother's sake. That gives me hope - to see someone strive for something bigger than himself. I remember reading in his statement that he reached a point in his life when he knew he needed to become a man. That kind of maturity is so rare in someone so young. That, my friends, gives me hope. Dennis, you inspire me and I pray that you will reach your goals. Your mom must be so proud.

Today was a good day! Despite the stressful atmosphere, I've been at peace. My Arabic test didn't go as horribly as I thought it would. I had a great lab practical and had a great interactions with both of my TAs. English is downhill from here. One last paper to write, but it's a personal reflective kind of prose, so it's not as hard as the others.

Work was enjoyable today and it was good to be back after break. Jamelie and Kylon are adorable kids to work with and I love seeing them every week!

I had a wonderful dinner date with Allie today. We spent an hour talking and catching up, and being with her makes me so happy. She just radiates joy and God's love.

Before heading into studying for the night, I read a chapter in Luke. My favorite part was at the very end, titled "The Boy Jesus at the Temple." Jesus said "Why were you searching for me? Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" Like, duh Mary and Joseph. Haha.

Listen to Natalie Grant's "Held." It's fantastic.

Blessings and love in Him. <3