Rest in Peace, Annie <3

Tonight was Annie Le's prayer vigil. We gathered on Cross Campus to remember this remarkable, young, brilliant, heartwarming woman. It was so good to see the Yale community out there. Like Austin said, all the "groups" were there. It's amazing how tragedies can bring a body of human beings together in unison - in heartache and in mourning. As investigations continue as to how Annie was taken from us, I can't help but be so angry at the person who was behind all this. How can you take away life? How can you take away a life such as Annie, a flower that is blooming so beautifully, so full of promises. She was ready to save the world from what people say. She "had it all" - brains, beauty, and a heart so big, so full of love. I just don't know.

I can only imagine how hard and how painful and how heart-searing it is for her family, fiance, and friends. My heart and tears go out to them. I didn't even know Annie and just hearing about her death and their loss makes me ache inside and it caused me to cry. It is just so unfair. She was going to be a beautiful bride on a beautiful day with beautiful plans for the rest of her life. And now all Jonathan can do is mourn. God, please be with this man who is in love with Annie, please bless his heart, please heal his heart, comfort him in this time of loss and despair. Only You God can cure and heal this pain. No human words or action can offer the comfort that you offer. Please be with her family, her parents especially. I can only imagine what they are going through. Please fill up their loss with Your abounding love. God, please just heal.

Several prominent Yale staff gave their short speeches about Annie, but what touched me the most was when Annie's roommate came up to share her part. She was choking back her tears as she told us to "bear with her as she tries her best." God bless her heart. She recited Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." And at that moment, all my doubts, all my questioning of God in this dark situation vanished. It was as if He spoke to me, to the hundreds that showed up, that our loss is a part of His greater plan - a plan so great that we can't comprehend it. He calls us to trust in Him completely, and I do. I'm sorry I doubted. I'm sorry I was so unfaithful. I don't know for sure if Annie is a Christian or not, but I'd like to say that she is. I'd like to know that she is with our Heavenly Father right now, at His right hand, exploring heaven. Annie's death is tragic, but I know she did not die in vain.

Austin found me in the middle of the service and gave me the longest hug. He is so sweet. He comforted me and asked me if I was okay constantly, and continued to hold me. It was as if I had forgotten what it is like to hug someone that tight, for so long. It was so nice and I was filled with love. Thanks again, Austin. I know I can come running to you anytime.

A newspaper interviewer came up to us at one point and asked me about how I felt about the whole thing. It was kind of weird and I don't remember most of what I said. Hopefully she'll quote me correctly. I couldn't even see her clearly because of the tears in my eyes.

Last night, Vivian and I had a great, confusing, and challenging conversation. We prayed together. It was so good. God is so good. Help us to be lights for you during this dark time Lord, help us reflect Your endless love, bolster our faith, build us up to be citizens of heaven, Father. It's challenging, it's unfair in our eyes, but I know You know best, and for now, all I can do is be patient and let you reveal to me in Your time.

I must admit, I am frightened. It's scary to know that this crime happened within the Yale community. I must admit that I am scared to go to any basement for the time being. Or to go anywhere by myself. But I know and I take comfort in knowing that God is with me at all times. If something were to happen, I know I'm already saved. Besides, Yale has great safety resources, and as long as we are united as a community, as a university, as human beings, we can keep each other in love and safety.

To Annie,
We have never met, and for that I grieve. I wish I could've met you before you had to leave. Your death is a tragic event, but I take hope in the possibility that you are with our Father right now. Know that you are dearly and sorely missed by your family, your fiance, your friends, and by the Yale community. Your vibrant life will be a testimony to the positive attributes of humanity. Thank you for being so radiant, for being optimistic and a bringer of joy and love. Please rest in peace.